My Ideal Clients - an Inventory & a Spell

The other day, my coach urged me to get really clear on who and what kind of person I wanted to work with as a coach/healer. I’ve done this exercise for dating (and landed myself a wonderful partner last Fall!) , but I’d never considered it for calling in my idea clients!

I decided to sit down with myself and visualize/feel into all of the qualities I felt would make a good fit for someone ready to work with me professionally. I did this with a pen, and in my Big Journal. First, I noticed the qualities coming up for folx I don’t want to work with… that felt MUCH easier! But since this is a practice of CALLING IN, I dug a little deeper and asked myself, “What would be the opposite of this quality, or the positive version of this quality?” Once I got into the flow of this, the list unfolded before my eyes faster than my hands could even keep up with!

Without further adieu, I present to you, a description of My Ideal Clients:

  • Understands the value of coaching

  • Happily pays my current full rate, for 1:1 or group coaching

  • Is committed to achieving their goals

  • Is ready to heal their money and/or worthiness stories

  • Understands the concept of “yes &” or wants to learn

  • Leans IN when they feel fearful and resistant

  • Does not seek permission from a partner or parent to do their work & live their dreams

  • Asks for help when they’re feeling stuck

  • Willing to invest in themselves

  • Wants to unlock their creative potential & expression

  • Is willing to get curious about their resistances

  • Has done work on themselves and takes full responsibility for their feelings and responses to whatever life gives them

  • Actively practices clear communication

  • Shows up on time for our appointments

  • Rarely needs to reschedule an appointment

  • Honors their time with me

  • Is down for meditative and creative practices during our sessions

  • Already meditates regularly, or would like to start practicing meditation

  • Will commit to working with me for at least 6 months

  • Knows in their heart they are meant for something extraordinary

  • Is 10/10 committed to stepping onto their path of making changes in their life toward their dreams

  • Says YES to themselves

  • Gets curious about the unknown; goes for it anyway 

  • Explores opportunity with an open heart and mind, even when the next step feels like stepping over a cliff

  • Prefers to spend time in the Growth & Learning Zone

  • Is ready and willing to take action

  • Takes the next step, even if the next step has yet to be revealed

  • Has developed emotional maturity

  • Is reliable and dependable

  • Stands up for themselves

  • Responds to my messages and outreach

  • Believes in community over competition

  • Has a moderate interest or active practice in woo

  • Doesn’t try to kiss people who aren’t trying to kiss them!

Have I missed anything? Is there something you might add if you had crafted an Ideal Clients list?

Let me know in the comments!

AND, if this list describes YOU, it’s probably time for us to start working together… like yesterday! Let’s get on the phone QUICK and see what kind of magic we can create!!! To schedule an appointment, click here.

My Resilience

Sometimes I spend so much time lost in my thoughts that I forget to take a step back for a broader perspective. You can relate, I know it.

I most often notice this happening when I feel an uncomfortable (to me) feeling: melancholy, loneliness, anxiety, fear, anger… something that usually seems like it will never end.

While my future, Wise Self knows that the discomfort will eventually pass, my current Self sometimes wallows, and my mind gets stuck in The Vortex of Lies & Doom. All of my brain’s capacity is hijacked by the ideas that “I’m a failure” “I’ll never be loved” “I’m not worthy of the dopest life I want for myself “ “Every relationship I touch turns to dust” “How dare I want something different/better/bigger” … etc.

If you have ever experienced a heart-wrenching break-up, or depression, or anxiety, or anything emotionally traumatic (because human), you most likely have your own versions of these “I suck, therefore I am” inner monologues.

The Vortex of Lies & Doom can be debilitating, and will squelch the life force and motivation right out of you.

I’ll bet you know the feeling.

One day over the summer, while feeling stuck in one of these unbearably painful thought-vacuums (where vibrance and splendor goes to die), I discovered a strategy to re-focus my thoughts.

A total sucker for visual data a la colorful charts and graphs, I found this technique to be self-validating, tangibly satisfying, and was very accessible (even while spinning out in The Vortex) because it required very little time and effort.

The technique I describe is known as My Resilience Pie.

The idea is that you think about your whole life (which magically shifts your focus right away out of The Vortex!) up until this point and recall all of the things you’ve overcome, and have shaped you into the wonderful human you are right now.

Since the fun/easy/happy experiences are rarely challenging enough to make us grow (the personal development kind of grow), recalling the challenges and struggles that you have survived is especially powerful.  And then putting them down on paper in a way to visually represent just HOW MUCH of those experiences contributed to your current, vast YOU-ness is just… Mmm. ZAP! BOOM! POW!

Yep. I want that for you.


Here’s what to do:

1.     Make a list of the things you’ve experienced that have contributed to YOUR resilience.

a.     This list can be as specific or as vague as you’d like.

2.     Draw a circle. Unless you’re a perfectionist ahem Alexandra, use a compass, or trace the circumference of an overturned (dry, empty) pint glass.

3.     Section out your pie according to how impactful each of the listed experiences were.

4.     Add color to your pie, and label each of the sections (if you want).


You now have a visual representation of how badass you are, in the (very nerdy) form of visual data!

I put mine on my wall adjacent to my workspace so that I can remember everything hard I’ve been through that has shaped me into the hella brave, powerful woman I am now.

I plan on making one every three months as a way to keep track of anything new that I’ve lived through, to notice if the weight (/impact) I’ve assigned each experience has shifted, and to see if any experience stops making the list.

I took it a step further and shared my pie on my Instagram, and the positive responses were almost overwhelming. People learned things new about me, stuff that just doesn’t usually come up in everyday conversation. It felt like I revealed a new layer of complexity about my personality and strength. Kinda like scar stories, but for the heart.

If you decide to make a Resilience Pie, I highly recommend sharing yours on your social media as a further tool to let your network know that you are so fucking brave and endlessly deserving of kindness.


I love you.